MANTRAS

by J Molin

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1.
No more sitting in my cube beneath the zombie lights Where the light is too white and the walls are too tight I need to go outside and a get a big fresh breath of air But I can't escape the screen and my butt's glued to the chair No more standing on a stage beneath the TV screens No more trying to sing over the coffee steam machine No more waiting hours just wait for hours more In some far off remote hope that my foot gets in a door No more shitty gigs I've played enough for one life No more shitty years it's high time I decided To show a little self-respect and have a little pride 'Cause it's my show and I decide where it will go Yeah it's my show and I decide where it will go No more playing right behind a big ol concrete pole No more shitty boxy smelly nasty little holes No more playing petting zoos for peanuts in a jar While the badger interlopers are all yelling at the bar No more making money for some jerk with a bar I’m singing in the sun and out there underneath the stars No more precious bullshit from a kid who can’t relax I’m bustin through the walls of the dungeon with my ax No more saying Yes to all the shit that comes my way No less than my heart up on the wire when I play No more scratching at the surface with a rusty spoon I'm stabbing at the source trying to kill it with my tune No more shitty gigs I've played enough for one life No more shitty years it's high time I decide Let's go for a walk, I'm gonna take this show outside 'Cause it's my show and I decide where it will go Yeah it's my show and I can ride where it will go We're going out on a sunny day We're gonna find a sweet spot to play When the weather is feelin fine We're gonna slow down the hands time We're gonna dance around the in sun We're gonna let ourselves have fun We're gonna open up a bottle of red red wine We're gonna lay on the grass and stare at the sky We're gonna gather down by the creek We're gonna feel the stone beneath our feet We gonna watch the clouds go by We gonna slow down for a while
2.
Outside 04:24
If I'm not getting outside then the sun can't lay its light like a hand upon my head and bake my spirit bright. If I'm not getting outside then I can’t open my eyes past the walls around my mind, and stretch them out upon the sky. Feel the breeze go still a while, then the rattle of the leaves, Song upon song from the trees, looping layered choruses. I need the sun upon my face. I feed my feet upon the ground. Get me high on air and space. Surround me with the open sound. 'Cause if I’m not getting outside then the birds cannot remind me that the dawn is filled with song and the wildlife goes on. If I'm not getting outside then the flowers can't confide Their sensual serenity, the sense of possibility. Lay upon the lawn with me. Stare up at the sky and see: There is no philosophy like the branches of a tree. Mamacita, let’s go talk along the lake, like we did so long ago, there’s still so much I want to know. Hija linda, let’s pretend that we just met for the 1st time in a long time and we fall in love again. I need the sun upon my face. I feed my feet upon the ground. Get me high on air and space. Surround me with the open sound. If I'm not getting outside I need to slip out on the sly Sip a cup and simmer down, circulate around the grounds. If I'm not getting outside then I'm not really alive. I’m a part of everything, I feel it in my wiring. Suddenly it starts to rain, hushing me with everything, Quieting my busy brain, I’m nothing but a weathervane. I need the sun upon my face. I feed my feet upon the ground. Get me high on air and space. Surround me with the open sound. Surround me with the open sound. Surround me with the open sound.
3.
No more waiting to be discovered No more waiting to get signed Discovered myself, I am surrounded by wealth I realize how much I've denied No more waiting for a favor No more waiting for the stars to align No more waiting, no more sad stargazing 'Cause now I know, I have arrived And I know, I've got a long long way to go But with the wait I am satisfied And I know that it goes so painfully slow But that's OK cause I got you by my side No more waiting for directions I'll make a map out of the sky I've waited so long for the muse to deliver this song I thank my god it has arrived Now I tell myself, If I only had someone else While the one I need is right in front of my eyes No more waiting for love I love all the crazy stuff that you're made of Cause I can see you have arrived No more waiting to be discovered No more waiting to get signed Discovered myself, I am surrounded by wealth And now I know, I have arrived
4.
You see a star out of the car as we're driving by You yell out star and point out where each one you find Stars adorn your avenues and so now mine My oh my, Anais Sky how your bright eyes shine! You're my little fox, peeking at the possums You're my little bear, heeding where the honey's hid You're my little mouse underneath the table You're my little fish doing backflips You always say, Daddy an A! and I see the sign You see the tower every time it's on the skyline You spy with your little eye some tricky little find My oh my, Anais Sky how your bright eyes shine! Have you never seen a dog wearing pajamas? Have you never seen a giant squid wearing a bib? Have you never seen a baby with an umbrella holding a frog like a little kid? The world is new and new again for you my friend And so for me it's new again and again and again Thank god for what you see in me, through Maile's eyes and mine My oh my, Anais Sky how your bright eyes shine!
5.
I don't care if its good I don't care if it makes any sense I just don't have the time to come up with the fancy rhymes It's just gotta be fast I'm cranking out the lines and whatever I do is fine if it's on time this song is done this song is done it's been fun I got to run this song is done I told myself I could do it a song every goddam day and there's nothing to it when all I gotta do is play and if you want a good one you gotta write some bad ones first and the good ones come when you get over feeling dumb so get up and do your worst this song is dumb but this song is done they can't all be the one this song is done this song is for all my artists who don't know that muse will sing cause they don't show up for practice or finish a goddam thing to all my perfectionists let go of all that crap let it sail learn to fail but don't fall into that trap this song is done (x 8) i'm my father's son but I have won this song is done
6.
My System 02:47
I use my system to capture information I use my system to structure inspiration I use my system to make up my inventions I use my system to catalog intention Always planning for a miracle Always scanning for a miracle I use my system to connect from a distance I use my system to fire up the pistons I use my system to play all day with children I use my system to listen and re-listen Always feeling for a miracle Always appealing for a miracle So I'm free to make my art and play my part So I'm free to undertake with all my heart So I'm free to work out my philosophies So I'm free from all of these anxieties I use my system to buy myself some freedom I use my system to know what to abstain from I use my system to do and then do nothing I use my system to amplify the loving Always tending to a miracle Always sending for a miracle So I'm free to be with friends and not my phone So I'm free to stay at home and be alone So I'm free to be a fool and not be cool So I'm free and not a tool of all my tools So I’m free to let go what I know So I’m free to appreciate the show So I’m free to not feel bad bout feeling low So I’m free to go wherever I can go I use my system to get up and get busy I use my system to keep from getting dizzy Singing reggae hymns and indie spirituals Snapping pics and scouting out the visuals Recording lines for all my oddball musicals I finally learned it's cool to be unusual I use my emptiness to make a place I use my denied state to fight the hate I use my heart to steer into the fear I feel a miracle is almost here
7.
Everything's connected, everything's changing So pay attention, 'cause this is what it's like right now This is what it's like... this is what it's like right now So pay attention, pay attention, this is what it's like right now
8.
Keep your word and do your best Don’t take it personal or make assumptions
9.
I'm not gonna to try to change anyone but myself I'm not gonna to try to change you, I'm through I'm not gonna to try to change anyone but myself I'm gonna try, I'm gonna choose my truths believed em when they told me i could do, anything i choose, i put my mind to now it sounds cruel and funny as i'm runin out of time and money so much less in within our control than I knew in my youth, but now i know the truth we don't choose what we believe for a long long time, but when we do it's divine I'm not gonna to try to change anyone but myself I'm not gonna to try to change you, I'm through I'm not gonna to try to change anyone but myself I'm gonna try, I'm gonna choose my truths we're all in way over our heads, taking our meds until we're dead thought that there was something i could say but it doesn't work that way, so i'll save the cliches i could waste my time trying to change your mind, by why? it's written in the sky no one wants to hear what you think they should do, we just want someone who's true I'm not gonna to try to change anyone but myself I'm not gonna to try to change you, I'm through I'm not gonna to try to change anyone but myself I'm gonna try, I'm gonna choose my truths so, i go out and i sit in the sun, close my eyes, turn my hands up the sky i sit real still for a while, breath real slow, forget everything i know i see the world as it will be, without me and my misery unconsciousness connects me to everything else and for a second i get let go of myself I'm not gonna to try to change anyone but myself I'm not gonna to try to change you, I'm through I'm not gonna to try to change anyone but myself I'm gonna try, I'm gonna choose my truths

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released December 31, 2018

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J Molin Austin

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